Is it OK For Mothers to Buy Their Adolescent Daughters Their First Sex Toy?

      As every young girl reaches puberty their bodies change

and their attitudes and needs change as well. By the time

most young girls are ten they have experienced their first

periods and by the time they are in early adolescence,

twelve or thirteen at the oldest, they are already thinking

about sex and in some cases, they are seeking out sexual

partners.

     Most parents dread the adolescent stage of their kids’

lives. One reason why is because they do not want to see

their daughters outgrow their innocence and reliance on

them and in particular their father’s guidance to keep them

safe and forever “daddy’s little girl”.

     But the facts of life are that every young girl will become

sexual. For the strait-laced, conservative parents that refuse

to talk to their kids about sex (and this author had those

parents), then the topic in today’s discussion is absolutely

off limits and under no circumstances is it even considered

fair game to discuss. That subject would be masturbation

with sex toys.

     It very well may be true that a certain part of every parent

does not want to see their daughters grow out of their

daddy’s little girl phase and grow up and meet a partner and

leave their nest and not be under their control. But every

parent has to eventually come to terms with the fact that it is

going to happen whether they want it to or not. Therefore,

they have a choice. The mother, preferably, can talk to their

daughter about sex, explaining how their bodies are

changing and the physical, sexual and emotional changes

associated with puberty and lead their teens down a path of

safer sex during adolescence, in other words, talk to their

teen daughter’s about practicing a form of birth control and

demanding that any partner (assuming it is a teen with a

penis) that has sex with them wears a condom, thus

protecting not only their daughter’s but their daughter’s

partner’s from HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted

diseases and their daughter from pregnancy or else teaching

them that abstinence only birth control. In every sexual

conversation masturbation should be included. But the

tricky part comes when the discussion of sex toys must

inevitably come up.

     Mothers must educate their daughters on sex toys. This is

mandatory as far as this author is concerned. The adult

must discuss puberty, physical, emotional and

psychological changes associated with puberty, orgasm and

the pros and cons of becoming sexually active and assuring

that their daughter can make up her mind as to when she

feels the time is right to become sexually active and that the

mother would support the daughter at that monumental

time of her life.

     Considering most grown women with teenage daughters

own at least one sex toy this author feels that it would be

feasible to get at least one of their own sex toys and take it

into the daughter’s bedroom or wherever the sex talk is going

to take place. Show the teenager how the vibrator works by

turning it on and letting her feel the vibrations (with her

hands). At this point the mother MUST dispel any feelings of

shame or inhibitions that her daughter might have. Teach her

that masturbating with a toy like this is perfectly natural and

normal and most if not all women have a toy like this and

find pleasure in them.

     Now then. Here comes the controversial part. Should the

mother buy the daughter a sex toy or not? I am a very liberal

thinker so of course I am going to say “yes”, give that eleven-

or twelve-year-old girl a vibrator. I have plenty of good

reasons as to why I feel my way is the best. I have two good

reasons as to why the mother should give her teen girl a

vibrator.

Safety:

It is a natural inclination that practically all parents want

their daughters to wait until marriage to have sex. At one

time this was realistic. But, nowadays, it is not. What would

a stuffy, conservative, narrow-minded about sex parent

rather have? A fifteen-year-old girl who owns a vibrator, dildo

and clitoral stimulator (or any combination of the above) that

masturbates on a regular basis but is a straight-A student,

has friends, but they are all female, doesn’t go to parties and

does not have a drinking problem and for the most part is a

very tame, teenage girl? Or would they rather deprive their

fifteen-year old daughter of the pleasures of orgasm through

toys, and she has a different boyfriend every weekend of

which she has sexual relations with every one of them; she

gets pregnant in the ninth grade year, gives birth when she is

sixteen years old and then her future is upended from having

to take care of a baby? The “facts of life” are that it is not only

adults that are sexual. Teenagers are too and they need to

have their needs met as well. Maybe it is the lesser of two

evils but at least a toy would keep that girl safe.

Equality:

Any sexually active couple can attest to the fact that it is

much easier for men to achieve orgasm than for women.

This is called “The pleasure gap”.  If a young girl, early teens

start masturbating with a toy she will have many years

before she reaches the age of maturity and then marriage to

explore her body and what makes her respond sexually. In

this author’s point of view, if a thirteen year old girl starts

masturbating with a wand vibrator then by the time she

marries, and that could be eighteen or nineteen or that could

be mid to late twenties or else in early adulthood find a

partner to settle down with she will know exactly how to

please herself sexually and then can educate the partner on

what makes her happy. This makes the sexual experience

heightened and the orgasm all the stronger since the man (or

woman if she is a lesbian and they use a toy) can understand

her body and know how to give her what she wants (2021).

     All the information gleaned so far has been from a sex

positive point of view. But there is another side to this issue

that must be taken into consideration. Not everybody thinks

that it is good thirteen-year-old girls own vibrators.

     Adolescence is a very confusing, sensitive time for many

kids. With girls’ sensitivity and the ability to get embarrassed

are even more easy to achieve than boys. One thing that

many girls struggle through during puberty is body image. As

they become sexual this often means that they are very

sensitive about their own sexual needs. If one day their

mother comes to them and offers them a vibrator, this will in

some cases cause a trauma that is hard to come back from.

All we need to do is think back to when we were teenagers. If

we got a talk about sex that was awkward enough but if part

of that talk was that our father or mother pulled out a sex toy

and discussed it with us and that we should use it would

have freaked a lot of us out. Just because this particular or

that toy gets the teen girls’ mom off will likely so traumatize

the girl that it is even possible that she will never ever try sex

toys in the future when she is grown because she will have

that image of mom giving her that toy. It is quite a disgusting

thing when one thinks about it.

     Regardless of what side you are on, sex is a very

controversial topic and, in some cases, bringing up sex and

buying sex toys is a good thing. But, in other families that

would be such a bad thing that nobody would ever be the

same again. To each his own.

References

(2021, December 21). 5 Reasons Why You Should Buy Your

          Teen a Sex Toy.  Forever My Little Moon.

https://www.forevermylittlemoon.com/2021/11/WhyYouShouldByYourTeenASexToy.html.