Sexual Surrogacy: is it a Good Thing or Bad?

Ever since the creation of people couples have had trouble with their sexual relationships. This even goes back to the Bible times when Abraham, Judaism’s great prophet and his wife Sarah felt like they could not have a child due to Abraham being 100 years old and Sarah being 90 years old. So, Abraham hired a surrogate by the name of Hagar to bear a child for them, thus thwarting God’s plan for Abraham’s line and God’s plan for the Jewish people.

     In the twenty-first century sexual surrogates are still around and are hard at work.

     Sexual surrogacy is a therapeutic practice where a psychologist or counselor hires a man or woman, i.e. the “sexual surrogate” to engage in anything from touching, getting close physically and emotionally or even as if as having sexual intercourse with a patient who has very bad issues regarding sex and sexuality topics in his or her life.

     This form of sexual healing is controversial because of the little known research published on the subject . It is a very taboo subject due to the legal and ethical ramifications of patients using sex surrogates.[1] However, there is impiracle evidence that sexual surrogacy works for many patients who use the method.[2]

The Pros of Sexual Surrogacy:

In most cases the reasoning for a patient to seek out the services of a sexual surrogate is due to deep seeded traumatic experiences and not so much physiological reasons.[3] In many cases these people who seek out the surrogates have trouble with confidence issues regarding sex and still others have erectile dysfunction.[4]

     One particular surrogate, Rebecca Torosian remembers one of her male clients who was very inexperienced in sex. He was even at the point, she remembered where he was so bad he did not even know how to have sex.

          “I was astonished to know men like

          him existed. I always thought men

          were born with an innate understand-

          ing of how to have sex. But what I dis-

          covered over the years was just how

          wrong I was.”[5]

     The road to a sexual surrogate is paved quite painfully. Men are the typical clients. Most of the time they have suffered extreme and horrible sexual abuse as children; many have suffered sexual disappointments time after time. A great many of them suffer from physical handicaps.[6]

     Since the patients are so broken emotionally, the surrogate is more often then not, their last hope.[7]

     The treatment plan includes not only the surrogate but rest and relaxation techniques. Surrogates work alongside a sex therapist.[8]

     It is not known at this point whether or not sexual surrogacy is successful. The subject has been too controversial to have garnered any type of real, serious research, therefore there are no real accurate numbers to bear a real result out.

     Sexual surrogacy also has a downside. The following are the cons of sexual surrogacy.

The cons of. Sexual Surrogacy

     There are many concerns that must be raised regarding sexual surrogacy. This is especially true of the disabled.

     First, often times the disabled are sexually dysfunctional. However, the [9]severely disabled have sexual needs that they do not want to go left unfulfilled. If they suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED) and a surrogate tries to help them overcome this and is not successful then that will only make things all the more disheartening to the disabled person in expressing their sexual desires.[10]

      Emotional vulnerability is high on the list of probable outcomes of allowing sexual surrogacy.[11]

     Another possibility of legalizing sex surrogates is always the possibility that prostitution could be legalized.[12]

     As we can see from just a few of the negative reasons why sexual surrogacy should be outlawed makes the reader wonder if it should, indeed be outlawed or do the pros outweigh the cons?

     It is up to the reader to decide what the best course of action is to take if he or she would find him or herself or someone he or she knows and loves in a situation when they would consider going to a sexual surrogate.

Works Cited

Sex, Surrogates, and Disability, Skelton. Practical Ethics. Apr 9, 2013, 2.

Physiological Reasons, Sexual Surrogates Help Many Who Suffer Alone, Muller, , Psychology Today,

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/talking-about-trauma/201305/sexual-surrogates-help-many-who-suffer-alone, May 27, 2013, 3.

What is Sexual Surrogacy? WebMd, Ed. Contributors. Felson, https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-sexual-surrogacy, Dec 04 2022, 1.