The Chemistry of Love and Attraction
- sexblogger52
- Dec 16, 2023
- 3 min read

“What ‘Tis Love?” Shakespeare once asked.[1]
For many millenia the human race has asked this question. For most of recorded human history we just did not know the answer to Shakespeare’s question. Now we know. It’s all about hormones.
Remember the last time anybody ran into a person that he or she found attractive? There was a feeling of sweaty palms, heart racing, a general overall feeling of euphoria. Those feelings come down to three major themes.
According to a team of scientists led by Dr. Helen Fisher at Rutgers University, lust, attraction and attachment all are attributed to their own set of hormones in the brain. Testosterone in men and estrogen in women are responsible for the lustful thoughts. Dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin are responsible for attraction and oxytocin and vasopressin initiate attachment.[2]
When a man looks upon a woman lustfully he is simply following the laws of nature in that he wants to perpetuate the human species by procreating with the woman that he sees. This is driven by the hormone testosterone. If she also looks at him lustfully then she is releasing estrogen in her body as well.[3]
Religious people the world over claim that lusting after another person’s body is sinful. Whether or not someone takes this stance does not change the fact that hormones are at play and people are attracted to whomever they are attracted to, religion or not.
Here is a great example of how love and attraction are basically one and the same.
In a television commercial for Axe body spray, the commercial portrayed an elderly man in a wheelchair rolling out into traffic while his caretaker nurse suddenly forgets about him due to her attraction she felt towards a young, good smelling man who was presumably wearing the Axe body spray. Chaos ensued, cars, buses and motorcycles swerved to miss the old man and the nurse. Meanwhile, the attractive young man and this nurse approached each other and sniffed each other and it was obvious that sex was on their minds.[4]
If this were a real life scenario probably the next thing that the young man and the nurse would do is likely start dating and maybe marry in the future if they fell in love and wanted to marry. Sexual attraction is a very powerful force in each one of us and this was well portrayed by these actors in that commercial.
So then, considering that there is not much that we can do about these feelings then, in this author’s opinion the best thing to do is not to try to fight them. Go with what feels good and if a person feels a strong feeling to someone of the same or opposite sex then try to hook up with that person and see if a real relationship could come from it.
This is really the best advice that anybody could give and for anybody to take.
The laws of physical and sexual attraction are strong. Men are attracted to beautiful women and women are attracted to men. There is no reason to fight this so go with the flow. Who knows. Great relationships could be built out of something as simple as a strong sexual attraction between men and women.
[1] Love Actually: The Story behind Love, Lust and Attraction. Wu, Katherine. Harvard University, “What ‘Tis Love?” https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/ Ju12 2023, 1.
[2] Love Actually: The Story behind Love, Lust and Attraction. Wu, Katherine. Harvard University, Testosterone in men and…norepinephrine and serotonin…oxytocin and vasopressin…, https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/ Jun 12 2023, 2.
[3] Love Actually: The Story behind Love, Lust and Attraction. Wu, Katherine. Harvard University, When a man looks upon a woman lustfully, https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust- attraction-companionship/ Jun 12 2023, 3.
[4] Sexual Attraction and Survival Mode, Montgomery, John. Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-embodied-mind/201301/sexual-attraction-and-survival-mode, Jan 9, 2013. 1.




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