The Female Sexual Response Cycle: Why Do Some Women Achieve Orgasm Easier Than Other Women?

     For as long as there have been women and men and sex, there have been women that have fallen into one of three categories. Either they (1) have little trouble reaching orgasm; (2) Some trouble reaching orgasm, or, (3) can not orgasm at all and live a full life never having achieved that mighty “O”.

     One of the worst things that can happen to a woman in this world is that she lives a long life and never orgasms even once.

     For the women that do orgasm, there is a cycle that the female body goes through upon the start of her body’s journey down the pathway of an orgasm until the phase known as “resolution” occurs, which is what happens when sex is immediately over.

     First things first. For a woman to have an orgasm, or as some people say, “climax” she must reach a state of desire. This desire can last for a very short period, or it can last for hours (2021). Upon a state of desire, the woman will find her clitoris and inner vaginal lips swell. One possible side effect of the body getting ready for sexual intercourse, is blotchy or flushed skin. Breasts often, become fuller (2021) and almost every time her nipples become very erect. Vaginal lubrication and muscle tension begins at this phase (2021).

     By now the body has jumped quickly from a state of desire to full-fledged arousal. This is when things really get hot and exciting. The woman’s hormones really kick into high gear by now and this phase is the time that occurs right before the next phase of the cycle which is called “orgasm.”  But, before the orgasm, during the actual arousal phase, thanks to usually either the woman’s lover’s penis or sex toy (masturbation) fully penetrating the woman’s vagina, all kinds of other physical and emotional changes begin occurring inside the woman’s body and mind (2021). This is where the sexual “bonding” between herself and her partner really takes place. It is where she and her partner will find themselves, eventually, if they stay together long enough, falling in love with each other due to this and the next phase. The state of arousal and orgasm. Love is simply an explosion of hormones which is what really goes on during sexual intercourse. This sexual bonding, At least in long term marriages can be attested to a strong sexual relationship that lasts for many decades until one partner departs the earth.

     Now, the most exciting and exhilarating part of the female sexual response cycle, and that is the orgasm itself (2021). This is when the woman releases her own bodily fluids and feels a strong tension and burst of sexual tension leave her body immediately. It is so overwhelming that she cries out in pleasure. Usually when this orgasm has ended, she feels in her brain a sense of peace and tranquility, as though she wants to now be held by her partner and experience the warm, physical pleasure that he or she can give her by cuddling.

     This is called the “Resolution” phase. During the resolution phase the body quickly retreats to its natural state before sexual excitement and activity starts. Her body has become awash in pleasurable hormones also called endorphins and as said, she feels like just being close to the man or woman she just made love to. In her case, fatigue, and an overwhelming sense of calm washes over her and sleep many times settles in. Many women claim that the most romantic thing their partner could do to them would be to make love to them for hours after their date and then fall asleep in their lover’s arms. This is not too far-fetched. After orgasm, the woman many times does fall asleep in her lover’s arms.

          All this information was aimed at women who can orgasm. But it is time to explore a problem that many women have that, unfortunately, is not talked about with their gynecologist’s much, therefore the problem goes often times throughout life. That is some women’s inability to achieve an orgasm.

     According to the article, What Can Cause Orgasm Difficulties in Women? (Author unknown), the author claimed that in one study of 1,749 women in the United States, twenty-four percent had orgasmic dysfunction, or better known as the inability to climax (1).

     The reasons for the inability to orgasm in some women can be attributed to:

Psychological issues:

Mental health is a big factor. If a woman is “distracted, worried about her body or sexual performance, dealing with depression or anxiety, or feeling guilty about having sex, possibly due to cultural or religious beliefs. Past sexual abuse and trauma can also have a negative impact on a woman’s ability to orgasm.” (2). A very good sex therapist or psychologist could help a woman in that condition work through her problem.    

Relationship/Communication Issues:

If a woman is having trouble communicating with her partner or is fighting with him/her or feels like she is on a different wavelength than he or she then orgasm most of the time is hard to achieve. In this case, couple’s therapy is the best advice this author can give. Once the issue(s) is worked out then the in orgasmic woman likely will go back to having wonderful orgasms once again.

Ageing:

Menopause and all the physical changes that come with it, such as vaginal dryness, loss of vaginal elasticity, etc. can hamper a woman’s sexual desire. It is hard to feel sexy much less have an orgasm very easily if a woman feels like she is too old for her significant other and that he or she does not feel as sexy as she once was. This is where good communication comes into play. Talk to your significant other about whether you are still sexy to him or her. If he or she tells you for certain that you are still as sexy as you ever were then I’d suggest going to a drug store and getting plenty of KY-Jelly (my own preference and recommendation. It works best for me and my partner). And, then the next day, order some sexy lingerie from an online catalog. When the clothes arrive, get yourself all dolled up and take your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend (whatever your relationship status happens to be) out to a nice romantic restaurant. Then, go home, put on that sexy lingerie and some soft music, close the bedroom door, light some candles and apply a very liberal amount of the KY-Jelly and let he or she have his/her way with you. That’s what you do when you reach menopause even though you may feel a bit unsexy and unloved. Speaking from a man’s perspective. If my wife just reached menopause, I’d tell her she was the most beautiful woman in the world too and we’d do just the scenario described. It really is a turn on to think of such a thing. And, for most other guys they would also be turned on by such a romantic event happening.  Men are romantic. They just don’t want to admit to it.

     All of this I mentioned is good and well, ladies. But there is something that is my absolute pleasure to mention that will guarantee orgasms to each and every woman that follows this recommendation. For years this has been a taboo subject and to this day there are still a lot of misconceptions regarding this and the practice of it and to whom does this. That would be masturbation with sex toys.

     I would highly recommend vibrators. Wand vibrators if you want to guarantee yourself an orgasm. Multiple orgasm is on the menu with a good, strong, large wand. I

     In January 2024, I put together my own sex toy/lingerie/adult DVD video store. I sell sex toys, sexy lingerie and adult videos. I got into this business because I have a compassionate heart. I care about people. About relationships. I know how sexually frustrating it can be today because so many people do not have a significant other. Women, especially, can say this. Many women do not have partners. That is where I come in. Come over to my sex toy shop, Adult Toy Showroom:

Sexualaidsforwomen.com.myfreesexstore.com.

and I can promise you I will sell you a toy or toys or lingerie that will give you orgasms that will totally knock your socks off.

     Although the percentage of women unable to achieve orgasm is high, there is still help if the woman who cannot climax keeps an open mind and is willing to try a little exploration, such as sex toys.

References

(2021, September 3). Understanding the Female Sexual Response Cycle. Women’s Health: Arizona. https://www.womenshealthaz.com/understanding-the-female-sexual-response-cycle/

What can cause orgasm difficulties in women? SMSNA For Patients. https://www.smsna.org/patients/did-you-know/what-can-cause-orgasm-difficulties-in-women.